crying over cake

Last night a very intense experience with Ma'am came crashing to an unexpected and abrupt halt. I felt a flash of pain and automatically moved in a way that I shouldn't have. End result – one slightly injured girl and one very concerned Ma'am.

Ma'am sat me down and comforted me while I sniffled my way through the pain and feelings of having done something wrong. When it became clear that I was actually injured, I sat shaking as Ma'am explained to me that she wanted me to change and that she would be taking care of me for the rest of the evening. I started to argue before thinking better of it and had to remind myself that it was not my decision. I quietly submitted to her wishes but I wasn't happy about it.

For the rest of the night I was unexpectedly emotional. Tears remained inexplicably just under the surface and I found myself crying at times for no apparent reason. When Ma'am mentioned she was going to go get a midnight snack, I tearfully begged her to permit me to get it for her. It surprised us both, I think, that I was crying over not being allowed to get her a piece of cake.

I understand that things can happen unexpectedly. I understand that sometimes Ma'am will need to take care of me. I even understand that what happened was an accident and I'm not at fault. What I don't understand is why I was so overly emotional and why the very idea of Ma'am getting herself a snack brought me to tears...