domming myself - an epiphany

Our trio is actually a quad. I serve Sir and Ma'am but I also serve a third Mistress. This third Mistress, who was actually my first, resides in my head. She is omnipotent, unrelenting, and fierce. She does not dispense praise easily or often and is very quick to pass judgment.

The Mistress Mind sees and knows all of the things that Sir and Ma'am do not but she doesn't always share the information with them. She is an expert in scolding and lecturing and knows the most effective and efficient means of correcting me. Mistress Mind has absolutely no qualms about punishing me on behalf of my Sir and Ma'am and does so as she sees fit – until or unless Ma'am and Sir provide their own punishment.

Mistress Mind is always there - driving me toward success, correcting my failures, and always on the lookout for improper attitude or behavior. She is relentless in her attempts to turn me into the best girl I can be but I don't fault her for it. I am wide open and vulnerable to her in a way that I am not yet with Ma'am and Sir. I've served her unconsciously and without thought for a very long time. I have been a devoted slave to Mistress Mind and strive for nothing less than perfection with her.

Serving Mistress Mind was not a bad thing in the past. In fact, Mistress owned me so completely that I wasn't entirely aware of her presence. But now that I have Ma'am and Sir, serving my first Mistress makes things a little messy. Mistress Mind's demands sometimes prevent me from properly serving Ma'am and Sir. I've come to realize that my continued service of her is a detriment to my service of Ma'am and Sir. This morning I knew without a doubt - it is time to leave the Mistress Mind's tutelage.

I'm not sure how to say goodbye to my first Mistress. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to fully leave her and her guidance behind. But I know that I must learn to let go of her if I am to ever succeed in my submission to Ma'am and Sir.