lowering the bar

I've lowered the bar – and I have to say I feel great about it.

A little over a week ago, just before my epiphany, I came face to face with just how high the standards I was holding myself to were. Even in my highest heels the bar I'd raised was so far above me that I didn't have a prayer of touching it. With the weight of such unrealistic expectations on my shoulders, it's no wonder that I was feeling as if I was failing my Ma'am and Sir.

I've learned a lot in the past week. Important lessons regarding how I see and deal with failure, how I've been trying to retain a measure of control and how I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to be someone that I haven't yet learned how to be. I've been unwittingly getting in my own way and my submission was suffering for it. Actually failing Ma'am and Sir might have soon become my reality if I hadn't realized what I was doing to myself.

So I lowered that bar and aligned it with the expectations of my Ma'am and Sir – which is exactly where I ought to have placed it in the first place. I'm going to take some time to get used to how reaching the bar feels before I decide to raise it a little higher.

Lowering the bar has already been of benefit to me in serving Ma'am and now that I'm getting out of my own way, I think it's just possible that I'm finally finding my groove...