It’s been more than a month since things between Sir A and I ended although I didn’t know at the time that the fairly quick phone conversation we’d had would be our last. I can’t tell you if Sir A knew it…he didn’t mention anything of the kind. There wasn’t anything unusual about our conversation or the way that he came across. But I haven’t heard from him since. He obviously lost interest in our relationship and decided not to do the decent thing and let me know. So much for the well-mannered proponent of communication that he portrayed himself to be…
Once again, I’ve made a poor choice in a dominant and I don’t really understand how it happened. I was careful not to rush into anything and felt I knew him as both a dominant and a man by the time that we moved from friendship into something more. We were almost eerily in sync when it came to our views of D/s and the lifestyle. And we were looking for the same things in a relationship. I was sure that we would be a good fit. Obviously, I misjudged either him or the situation.
I’m not sure where I’m going to go from here. It hasn’t seemed to matter if I leap or make an educated choice. The results have all been the same - a dominant who treats me poorly and then leaves without word. I can’t help but wonder if I’m too naïve or trusting or if it has more to do with the nature of online relationships. I know some people don’t consider it a “real” relationship and see it as merely a way to have a bit of fun. But I also know that there are those out there, like me, who are looking for a serious commitment. I guess the real questions are: how do I find the dominants who are truly looking for what I seek and how can I tell the serious ones from those who give me lip service in order to have a little bit of fun?
Sorry to hear that you are going through pain.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a wise thing by going slowly, not rushing, and communicating. That's all you can do to protect yourself, but in the end it will never be 100% effective and you will just have to take the risk and eventually, with time, you will find out what kind of person a new Dom is.
Either way, you are making the risk much smaller by being wise and cautious and taking it slow.
I hope you find healing and what you are looking for in a man. I was once in your shoes... I can offer you the hope that eventually, a man will come along who will be the man you want and need. Mine finally did and I married him. :)
I recently found your blog and I just wanted to say how much it is helping me. Being new to this whole process and trying to figure it all out with my husband has been really hard. Your insights have really helped me with my own submissiveness and how to better know myself. Thank you!
ReplyDelete