the worst sub ever

Today has been a terrible day.

It started with my weigh in this morning - I have a weekly weight goal with a 2 pound grace. Today, my scale revealed that I'd lost exactly a half pound too much. To make things worse, my Sir sent me some wonderful praise for doing so well - he had mistaken the amount of my grace allowance. I was unable to accept his praise and had to instead point out the oversight and ask to be punished.

After a brutal day at work, things got even worse...

My Ma'am & Sir generously allow me periods where I am not restricted in my personal "play". The only stipulation is that I keep a log of the details of my activities, which Ma'am can view at any time. I didn't much take advantage of the opportunity at first until I realized that Ma'am takes great pleasure in teasing me with the details of my log.

A short time ago I'd indulged in a little play session with a certain toy I'd always wanted to try. It was a toy I didn't think Ma'am was interested in using at all. I dutifully logged the experience and didn't give it another thought.

Ma'am hadn't checked my log in a while and discovered my play session today. She'd been disappointed because she'd wanted my first experience with this toy to be with her. While discussing it, she had this to say -

"Please understand that I am not angry you did this. It feels more as if I've had something taken away from me."

God. Did someone just suck all the air out of the room?

These are the worst words in the world to hear. I can't even describe how bad hearing them made me feel. It was the most effective chastisement that I've received in my life...and it wasn't meant as one. Which makes it worse somehow...

I am the worst sub in the world - truly unworthy of the attention of both my Sir and Ma'am...