peeking back in

I can't believe that almost five months have passed since I've last posted. Admittedly, I've become a bit undisciplined since leaving Eve's service but my radio silence has been more than that. Leaving service presented a lot of challenges for me - adjusting to a 99% vanilla existence after 18 months of following daily rules and rituals...trying to sort through the confusion about what I want, how my service experience has changed me, and where I ultimately want to go...fallout from scheduling a play session with Eve far too soon after my release....the ongoing conversations with Eve as we try to figure out how to rebuild...a quest to overcome my shyness and to connect with our local community...and others I can't think of right now.

In the first few months of this year, I wrote endlessly, feverishly (and in circles) in my journal. There was so much in my mind that separating one thought from the herd and following it to completion was an impossible task. Finally, I stopped writing altogether. My journal and blog lay fallow. I went from doing way too much thinking to feeling as if I didn't have anything of consequence to say.

Lately, I've begun to wonder if maybe I've just gotten out of the habit. I've been happy, busy and have adjusted to my new life. Eve and I haven't made a lot of progress where our D/s relationship is concerned but I'm feeling better about our future and things in general. I've been writing regularly in my journal again..and have turned my attention once again to my blog.

2010 has been a new chapter of my journey... I've redesigned my blog and plan to apply some discipline to my approach to get me back on track. My goal is 8 posts in next 2 months. Feel free to hold me to it or help me stay inspired and on task with topics or questions.