backburner

A couple of weeks ago, the busy season at the office began with its traditional bang. It started with a string of very short nights followed by very long days that contained no time for anything but work and left me exhausted by the weekend. While the grueling pace has settled down since then, the next couple of months will be filled with a lot of overtime and a lot of stress. Professionally, I’m ready for the myriad of challenges that are headed my way. But, from a personal perspective, I find myself wishing I could turn back the calendar and put off the busy season for just a little bit longer.

It was around this time last year that the downward spiral took hold of my D/s relationship with Eve. The tendrils of trust between us had already begun to bend and snap resulting in my growing discontent and the beginning of an internal rebellion that shocked and dismayed me. As I racked up the stress and overtime at the office, my needs for dominance and discipline kicked into high gear...but, unfortunately, I spent little time in Eve’s collar and my needs were largely left unmet. It was a frustrating time filled with a tension and distance that our unstable D/s relationship ultimately couldn’t overcome.

Needless to say, I’m worried about what’s going to happen in the coming months. Until the week before my schedule erupted, Eve and I had been enjoying more regular time together. We seemed to have finally found something that was working for us and had begun making plans on how best to move forward. We were both feeling good about our new direction and were being careful to give our new start enough room to breathe without expecting too much too soon.

But...it’s been 3 weeks since Eve and I have spent time together, a little less than that since we’ve talked about things. I’m starting to see the old pattern emerge – life gets busier and our D/s relationship is consigned to the back burner – and I’m afraid that our new start is too fragile to endure the neglect and distance we experienced last year when life was equally busy.

Hopefully, I’m just being hypersensitive and worrying over nothing...